Here are the top five Twitter Trending Topics right now, Saturday May 7th, in Cleveland, Ohio.
1.) #illpunchyouintheface – Welcome to Cleveland, city of top notch sports fans, world renown culinary artists and people who are brimming with excitement over the possibility of punching you in the face. I mean, I totally understand. Every now and again the urge to crumple someone’s whole dome up reaches up and tugs on my pants leg, but those days are behind me. I’ll rage vicariously by reading others tweets. Also, I have no idea who Fifa is, but I’m sure she could find a guy who wouldn’t watch TV while he’s sleeping with her.
@MonstahSlj: if You EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER Walk in Front Of The Tv When im Banging Fifa #illpunchyouintheface
2.) #thatoneperson – Does the phrase “Only in Cleveland” apply when we go from punching each other in the face to waxing reminiscent about that one person that we’ll never forget? Cleveland truly is a confused town, but from the looks of the hashtag, there’s lots of us in love, too. I’ve found my “that one person”, but I’m a little worried for Fifa? She needs to find this guy, I think he was talking about her:
@mrmarchand: #ThatOnePerson whom you had sex with years back that the thought of them makes your legs mildly weak
3.) #thankyou – Thank you to so many friends who have taken a little money out of their wallets to donate to the National Kidney Foundation. Thank you to Kelly for encouraging me to spend time writing. Thank you to my mom for always loving me. (Happy Mother’s Day). But, most of all, thank you twitter, for summing up my life in this tweet:
@TRIGGAMANN21: #illpunchuinthefaceif I Hold The Door Open For You And You Dont Say #ThankYou
4.) Seve Ballesteros – Seve, a legendary professional golfer, died after a years long battle with brain cancer. He was arguably Spain’s greatest athlete, if he’s #2, he’s only behind Rafael Nadal, and one of Europe’s greatest golfer. Seve was to the European Tour what Arnold Palmer was to the PGA. RIP, Seve. Now you can finally play the courses you dreamt about.
5.) Juno – Juno is both a city in Alaska that I’ve never been to and will probably never visit and a movie I’ve never seen and don’t really ever want to watch. There. I stand defiantly in the face of Alaskans and film fans.
I’m giving you the raspberry.