The number one thing that sucks at this very moment is the layout of my blog. I mean, damn, I spend a few minutes on The Little Big or Mommy Wants Vodka and I realize how much work I have yet to do if I want to turn this trumped-up diary I’ve got into something interesting and funny. They’re not paying me for the plug (they should be), and there are a ton of other awesome blogs that I could reference (someone please teach me blog linking crap), but they are both good examples of good content, good humor and well-developed author/reader relationships. I’d like to steal something from each site. From The Little Big, I’d like to steal some sort of week in review blog, and from Mommy Wants Vodka, I’d like to steal the ask me a question feature. I’m hoping there’s no sort of copyrights, because I’ll most definitely end up breaking the law sometime soon if there is.
The second thing that sucks today is the rain. I got up at 6 am just so I could check the weather and text my brother about golfing today. I was freaking psyched. (I’m watching one of those John Hancock commercials right now. You know, where two people text each other about their bank accounts or the economy and how they’re going to make sure the same thing doesn’t happen to them again. Right. How to keep rich people rich. Rich people already have people to manage their money, that’s how they got rich. Make me rich, put that on a commercial, that’s what will get you some business)* I wanted to golf today pretty badly. It’s probably the last weekend I’m available to get out, and I would have loved to throw a couple of layers on and go kick some brisk weather ass. But it’s raining. Bah humbug. I can play through crazy heat, wind, cold, and even a shower if the course was mostly dry and the shower didn’t last long, but there’s no going out today. And I’m sad.
The third thing that sucks are Europeans. Not really, but it’s Ryder Cup time, and I’m all on Team USA’s jock. Nothing like a golf tournament that can make me fist pump a putt dropping over breakfast at 7 in the morning on a Saturday. I don’t know what it is, but I get all patriotic and crap watching anything that pits the USA against anyone else in any sport or competition. I’d get drunk and rowdy watching the US curling team crush those pesky Swedes (I have, actually. Except I don’t remember if we won. Or who we were playing. But I REPRESENTED!) The only bad thing about rooting for the USA in the Ryder Cup is that our outfits are usually pretty bad.
Of course, that’s only Saturday’s outfits. There are countless (2) more ensembles that will surely knock your socks off (they’re so bad you might die, and 9 out of 10 undertakers agree that burying bodies with socks on is a terrible waste of money)
Those are today’s suck. I’m pretty sure there will be more later, but this laptop is melting into my thighs.
* This is the official record for italicized words in a parenthetical remark. Look it up. WAIT! Don’t look it up, just take my word for it. I’m a freaking record holder. Ya’ll better recognize.